My resolutions
by Ginny118
Summary: Here are certain important resolutions that Ginny made during her school years!


**_Why hadn't I done it earlier!_**

Can anybody sleep peacefully when their mind was fighting a continuous fiery battle about the very 'importance' of their life! I guess not! Same was the case with me!!

It was hours after the dinner and I was in my dorm, lying on my four poster, all these thoughts racing through my mind! The pocket watch - which was a birthday gift from Hermione - lying on the bedside table showed that the time was almost 1 in the morning! And I was still wide awake! Sighing, I got up from the bed and went to sit beside the window. The weather outside was all stormy and harsh with thick snow covering everything present on the grounds! The something-like-drumstrang-ship was visible from my window but I could only make the outline because the grounds; along with snow ; were also covered by a thick blanket of fog.

The weather outside completely matched with my emotions. They too were foggy, unclear and disturbing. The more I thought about it, the more it was think about!. . . And to add to my miseries I felt that my biological clock needed a repair;I couldn't eat at dinner and now I was feeling hungry; sleep was far far away but I was tired and urghh... Floor was too cold to sit but I couldn't sleep. . .and My life sucks! Big deal!

Wait, it was not like anything hasn't happened that kept me awake till one hour 'past' midnight; all hungry and confused, Something did happen and that something was - thankfully - enough to blew up my mind and causing me to think what I was thinking!

And that was certainly about the-boy-who-was-too-thick headed-to notice (everything-but) me!

 ** _Few hours ago_**

 _I was sitting in the common room chatting merrily to my friends when I caught sight of Ron; he just came in through the portrait hole; looking aghast! Surprisingly he was all alone, I mean, he was not accompanied by his best mate ; that is; Harry of course. He went to the corner of the room and sank into the chair with his head in his hands and shaking it to and fro as if gesturing a 'no'!_

 _By the state of him it looked as if he was regretting something! Or something happened to him! He looked frightened! He definitely did some Un-Ron thing! Worried, I decided to go take a look at him!_

 _" Susy , I'll come in a bit, alright! " I told my friend Susan, and pointed towards Ron when she gave me a confused look, stood up and began to leave when she called me again standing up herself_

 _"Gin, you know..."_

 _"Yeah, you lot go to dinner, I'll join you!"_

 _"Okay, come fast" was her reply as she and the others went toward the portrait hole while I headed to where Ron was sitting - his head still in his hands!_

 _"Ron! Are you alright" I said when I approached him._

 _"Huh. . .!"He looked around startled "Ginny. . . thank goodness"_

 _"No. . ." he said shaking his head_

 _"No, what?"_

 _Till now I had seated myself beside him and began to check his temperature, which was normal, or we can say slightly cold!_

 _"You seem cold Ron! What happened?" I said_

 _"Ginny, can foreign students find our dormitories?" He asked horror stricken_

 _"Wha.. No, not at all! How come they Ron! But what-has-happened!?"_

 _" I..." He began, then suddenly, taking his head between his hands again he shaked it in the same 'no' manner! "Whatmademedoit Ginny, what-made-me-do-it!"_

 _"Ron!" I shouted and he looked up again then in a slow soothing voice I asked "what's the matter? What-made-you-do-what?"_

 _"You know. . ." He began "I. . . I asked fle. . fleur to the ball!" He told me in a hollow voice and I stared at him, he's a git, definitely a git!_

 _"You what?" I asked keeping my voice as steady as I can and trying to suppress the-very-hard-to-suppress giggles._

 _"Yes, I asked her to the ball , didn't knew what came over me, she was there talking to Cedric in the hall, I suddenly went to her and asked her, you know she. . she stared at me. . ., then as if regaining my senses I gave a run from it!" He made a funny face and shaked his head again in a'no' manner, making it very hard for me to suppress the laughter._

 _"You gave a run!? Just like that?" I asked curiously and then it striked me that she; Fleur was a veela! Okay, a part veela!_

 _"What did you expected then?" He asked_

 _"Oh no, nothing!" Now it was really hard no to laugh but keeping my face straight I said keeping my voice soothing 'it's alright Ron, we all know she's a part veela. ." veelas have the ability to charm men when they want and so was this case, here she was trying to charm Cedric as it looked like and Ron happened to pass by, catching the charm himself!_

 _". . And we all know how their kinds are!" I added patting his arm. " now, don't worry about it!"_

 _"But what would she think of me!?"_

 _"Ron, it's alright. . , she charmed, and you happen to catch it okay, it's not at all your fault! And who says asking someone to the ball is a sin?! Relax, okay!" With that he again bowed his head and I continued to pat his arm._

 _"Ron.." I began to say but was beaten by Harry who had just arrived!_

 _"What's up Ron" he said sitting across us_

 _"Why did I do it" replied Ron looking up "I don't know what made me do it!" He started again I wondered, rolling my eyes._

 _"What?" Said Harry, now looking at me, confused! Oh he looks so cute!. . . Focus Ginny!_

 _I tried as hard as possible to keep my face straight and answered him, continuing to pat Ron's arm sympathetically, "_ _He - er - just asked fleur delacour to go to ball with him." There was silence before Harry spoke_

 _"You what?"_

 _He repeated the whole story to Harry and Harry said the same thing about fleur being a part veela and charming and everything! We think alike Harry! I smiled inwardly_

 _Then Harry broke the news about who Cedric was going with and it was the same girl who **Harry** asked, only she turned him down because she was you know going with Cedric, and that girl was Cho Chang ; the girl who I hated from the core of my heart since I laid my eyes on her! This thought made me weak, sad, teary and unfocused! All smiles fading away! _

_**Harry - likes - Cho!** Were the only three words flashing in my Mind in bright neon colours! _

_But both of their discussions snapped me out of my thoughts only to find that they were making fun of Neville and Hermione! Through my still foggy thoughts I heard Ron say "...mean who would!?" And he and Harry once again rolled out laughing, but soon it registered in my brain that they were making fun of me indirectly as **I** was the one going to the ball with Neville! Though how foggy my mind was, I was still annoyed and surprisingly I scolded them!_

 _"Don't ! Don't laugh!" But in vain! They didn't stopped, only laughed more!_

 _By now Hermione climbed through the hole and came towards us, probably she was back from dinner!_

 _"Why weren't you at the dinner?" She said to both of them; they were still laughing! It annoyed me - no wait - it made me angry and I burst out!_

 _"Because — oh shut up laughing, you two — because they've_ _both just been turned down by girls they asked to the ball!"_

 _That shut them up! Good one gin, I backed myself._

 _Then again Hermione and Ron went on a row, Harry caught my eyes, But I simply rolled them; he stared at me!_

 _Oh! wait - **I Ginny Weasley - never - ever - in - my - entire - life -** rolled my - eyes - at - Harry and he seem to remember that! Big deal!_

 _Then Hermione angrily went to her dorm and Ron still said that she was lying about her date so I said him that she wasn't lying and I won't tell him who her date is! I promised Hermione! I was still feeling numb and wanted to go from there as soon as possible but that prat-of-my-brother went to say that **'I' should go to the ball with 'Harry'** as Harry didn't had any date and then my temper gave up, I mean, who's he to decide what should I do and what not! But not showing it to them how angry as well as heartbroken I was I told them that I can't go with Harry cause I was going with Neville! And ran to dinner -as if my life depended on it- a thousand thoughts racing my mind!_

It was still flashing in my mind - now in neon red - **Harry likes Cho!'** I closed my eyes and let the tears -which were threatening to come out the very second I heard that news , but I fought them back till now- fall! I still didn't knew where this was heading?! I was really really heartbroken, unfocused and was being a crazy-weepy-stupid-girl-who-will-never-be-liked-by-her-only-lov.. no it's crush, I-have-a-crush-on-him...I told myself and only now realising that all those moments when I caught him staring at Cho now made sense, everything made sense! Everything was disoriented in my life and I Ginny was the core of it! I -Ginny Weasley- had a hopeless crush on Harry Potter who in turn had same kind of crush on that...that.. Ravenclaw hag!

Now he cannot like me if he doesn't like me! Alright!...I tried to explain myself but a nagging 'but' was still there!

But...but does it take someone so long to notice?! I found myself wondering after some time. What was there in her which I didn't have?! 'Everything' was the word that came to my mind, But then I remembered Hermione's words, she told me that my blazing red hair and bright brown eyes were a uniqueness in me! Not everybody had red hair and even if they had they weren't like mine! And Harry's mother, Lily potter had the same shade of hair like I had and she even had freckles like I had! 'But that's what Hermione feels' I tried to convince myself 'and moreover I hadn't seen Harry's mom so how can I think like that'! 'And I can't -even in my wildest dreams- think of comparing myself with Lily Potter! Never!'

For quite some time I started blankly at the sky out of the window as if seeking the answers to my unasked questions!

Didn't knew how much time went by, but I was brought back to the dorm room by a startling noise. Looking around I found that Marry was once again beginning to go on a walk in her sleep and now she was trying to pull her hat onto her foot, and in that attempt she made the pile of books on her bedside drop! 'Marry go to sleep,' I said approaching her, 'it's night alright! Sleep' With that I made her Lay down and she went back to her slumber.

I returned to my bed and found that time was already half past two, debating, whether to go to bed or to the window, I chose the window.

The same thoughts started forming in my mind and by now my head started spinning and felt like I was going to be sick!

'No! I can't be sick!. . . Look Harry what you do to me!'

Staring out of the window for some time kind of gave me encouragement and inspiration! Suddenly the real Ginny Weasley inside me returning-after-about- three-years whispered something into me; slowly, slowly gaining confidence; making me think what only I may have thought, telling me that I was being a stupid, an idiot for ruining my three long years behind a boy who doesn't know anything about me except that I was his friend's little sister! Who am I to mourn over him! And that it was not in my blood to mourn over something for which I wasn't responsible! Suddenly I felt light, like a weight of thousand pounds lifted from me, like I was happy! Oh no not-happy! Not this soon! But I felt convinced and like I could carry on! Felt like The-life-which-stopped-the-day-I-saw-him was now ready to thaw and moreover to move-on!

Second thought was that, that there are more handsome boys in Hogwarts than him! Emm. . . Yeah! Okay not-more-handsome-than-him but. . handsome!

'But...but, his emerald eyes seem so beautiful... and the mop of his blackboard coloured hair, oh my gosh! he looks so cute in them!' I found myself wondering after some time, smiling slightly as I imagined him! But then the smile on my face was replaced by a scowl and I scolded myself for playing his images in my head! 'If he is too thick to notice that you are a girl too and that too pretty one, then you are not supposed to think about him, however handsome he is!' Alright!

But.. No other boy seems to me being more handsome than Harry is... I thought again..! 'Urghh... How will your resolution hold When you go on repeating those things in your mind'! I scolded myself.

My mind drifted back to burrow when I tried to think about something that should make this resolution hold, on that summer day when after lunch me and Hermione where sitting under a breech tree enjoying ourselves; when the very first time we properly discussed about our crushes and how she told me how should I hold myself in front of Harry and that I should look for other boys too. Frankly that though died as soon as spoken but now I needed it very much, indeed very much!

'Alright Gin,' I said after thinking about certain things 'you have now decided keeping-everything-in-your-mind-about-what-Hermione-said-and-you-thought ( just now ) that you are going to be over Harry Potter!' 'Is-that-clear-to-you'!

Okay, this resolution which I was about to make was the biggest I had made till date and that too was very hard to hold keeping the fact that that boy which I was suppose to be over was always around me 24*7!

'But you have to do it! This is the right time for it Gin, the very right time indeed!' I told myself and with that I repeated the same words looking up at the sky and it seemed that the sky had listened to me and was now ready to be the witness as the snowing gradually ceased and it became clearer every second and I felt that somehow someone up there were listening to me and I had a full support of them!

Now I really felt tired and sleepy, yawning I made my way back to the bed; head still aching; but feeling light headed that somehow I was able to do something which I should have done long ago! But it's alright, the muggle saying better late than never ( which I heard from Hermione of course ) holds true here!

Once I was tugged in completely in my sheets I gave a last look on the watch and to my surprise it showed quarter to four! Yawning I rolled to another side hoping that somehow life will be better tomorrow, and with that being the last thought in my mind I fell asleep.


End file.
